Mom Talk Q&A: Valentine's Guide for Dads

Make it about the experience, not about an object given as a gift. If she senses that you have made an effort, she will feel special.

If your lady has a favorite restaurant, call right now and make a reservation, or consider a unique hole-in-the-wall like Vino Paladini tapas bar. Don't feel like you have to go for the fancy restaurant with the expensive lovers menu unless you want to drop big money.

If you have more heart than money, make her dinner instead — even if you don't know who Rachael Ray is. Start with a clean kitchen, cook what you know how to make and let her help. Cooking together can be very sensual. Set out candles, incense and nice music. She'll appreciate the effort.

Visit flowers shops now for the best selection and best prices, they may be higher on V-day.  and Shiroco's have a great assortment. 

Don't fall for the cliches:

• Avoid the $50 red roses that die quickly and flowers with a plastic heart stuck in them. Go for something different, such as an unusual orchid. Tulips, irises, lilies and Gerber daisies are classy and can be purchased a few days before. Potted bulbs are lovely because they will open later and last longer.

• No plush animals (she's not a child) and reconsider the heart-shaped jewelry. She'll likely enjoy a luscious scented lotion or soap that she can use every day.

• Don't rely on the standard Valentine's Day card to speak for you. Instead, hand write a short love poem on a blank card — just Google love poem. She'll love that you thought about it.

• Go for chocolates, only if it's what she really likes, and if it doesn't sabotage her New Year's diet. If chocolate is on the menu, go for decadence. Beware of the lacy heart-shaped box — you may sacrifice quality for fancy wrapping. has an assortment of See's Candies and has a really nice selection of handmade chocolates.

Please don't kid yourself that sexy lingerie is a gift for her. Really? She'll appreciate a CD or MP3 of her favorite music much more.

Clean her C-spot: that's the place in the house that needs to be clean in order for her to feel good. She may love a fresh bed, a clean bathroom or tidy kitchen. A clean home is an aphrodisiac for women. Author Tom McNulty shares the secret to a great sex life in his book Clean Like a Man. My friend the Serial Monogamist told me that he deep-cleaned his girlfriend's kitchen and had the best sex of his life that night.

Go for her senses: scents, music, flavor, touch and a beautiful setting. Mr. Monogamist explains: “Women are complex and have a better sense of smell. Men are a base animals. They smell their underwear to see if they can wear them again.”

Put together a picnic dinner with wine, cheese, crusty bread and deli salads. Add candles, a boombox and a nice blanket and dine in the back yard.

Clean out the tub and draw her a bubble bath complete with candles and a glass of wine. Shampoo or hand soap will foam up if you don't have the real thing. Set up the bedroom to give her a romantic massage and use lotion or massage oil.

Take her on an adventure out of town. Head to a neighborhood with lots of restaurants. Take a stroll and decide on an unknown restaurant together.

Rent a romantic movie, extra points for Italian or French films. Pair with a bottle of Port, a baguette and brie (62% Supreme, Saint Andre and Champignon are amazing).